Is it normal to be afraid of love

Unlike other types of phobia, for example, agoraphobia, people living with philophobia may not experience their anxiety every day. For some individuals, however, they may have these feelings daily, which can make leading a normal life challenging.

People with philophobia may experience the following symptoms, which are also common for most phobias:. Experts have not yet described the exact symptoms of philophobia in medical literature. Consequently, doctors need more information on the condition to understand it more and to be able to offer better treatment options.

Experts think that some people may be born with a tendency to be more anxious and develop specific phobias. Currently, it is unclear what causes philophobia. Experts have not included philophobia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual DSM-5 , the handbook of psychiatric diseases that doctors all over the world use. Similarly, there is no other standard guideline for diagnosing philophobia. Another reason for the limited information on philophobia is that those with phobias often choose to live with them rather than treat them.

Likewise, while most people living with a phobia are aware of their extreme fears, they may be reluctant to speak with doctors about the issue. A person with philophobia may avoid any situations where they might feel love. However, ignoring a phobia can make it worse. People with philophobia may need to consult a mental health professional for help.

For some phobias, doctors may treat people with gradual exposure to the object, place, situation, animal, or feeling that is causing their fear.

They call this type of therapy desensitization or self-exposure therapy. More complex phobias may require other therapies and can take longer to heal. Are you in and out, often pushing someone away? Did you know that if your fear of love is extreme, it can be a phobia? Or when is your fear a full-blown phobia?

And, what exactly is a phobia anyway? A phobia is a major fear that is focused on something specific. But it could be bugs, flying, elevators, horses, or the like. Like — take a train across the country or walk 14 flights of stairs. Sometimes, big time. Philophobia comes from the Greek. Phili means love and phobos means fear.

If you have philophobia, you might have some of these physical symptoms:. One interesting thing is that you can enjoy sex. The question is: Why? A number of childhood losses can be at the bottom of your fears.

Death of a parent. Being the child of divorce. Somewhere inside, you want and need love. So you seal yourself off. And when you finally do meet a partner who is available, loving, caring, honest, and every other quality you've been waiting for as opposed to dating unavailable people who had one foot out the door , this latent, silent belief kicks in and the self-protective thought, "You don't love him enough" or "You're not attracted to her enough" is quick on its heels.

Now, instead of addressing your core belief that you're not enough, you've made your partner not enough. Now, instead of you being in the vulnerable position of exposing yourself to the risk of being hurt or rejected, you've positioned yourself into the one-up position of holding the power. Now, instead of allowing the relationship to deepen in intimacy with an unknown end as we never know what will happen when we commit to one person , the ego, in the power position, will try to convince you to run, thereby controlling the outcome.

The ego hates risk. The ego hates the unknown. The ego hates being vulnerable. In our bully culture, the ego knows it's either bully or be bullied. It chooses to bully, putting your lovely partner under the microscope and convincing you that they just aren't enough.

It's an incredible act of courage to love fully. It's our deepest longing, yes, but it's also our deepest fear. Below are simple steps for working with the doubt and fear, but please keep in mind that this is very deep work and one must find patience, fortitude, and commitment.

Being scared of love and scared of relationships is a deep fear that takes time to heal. Welcome the fear: Get to know it, name it, invite it to dinner for a conversation. Write about it. Talk about it. Every time the thought arises of, "He's not cute enough," or "She's not social enough" or whatever the area is where your fear hangs its hat , say to yourself, "That's fear and defense talking.

It's not the truth. You may know immediately that you carry the belief of "I'm not enough. Once you're aware of it, the healing work becomes replacing it with the truth, which is, of course, that you are enough. You are loved. You are whole. By definition, philophobia is an intense and irrational fear of being in love which causes great emotional distress and interferes with your normal life.

It can be manifested in a wide variety of ways depending on the person and circumstances. Often, we fear and run from love because we wish to avoid getting hurt once again. If you wish to better understand why you fear love so much, read the following statements and see if they resonate with you:.