Friend who is always late

Ann Kearney-Cooke treats many patients who suffer from chronic lateness. Little changes can bring big results. Sign up for our One Small Thing newsletter here. Others like the rush of adrenaline. They want to see if they can make it to an appointment in a crunch. Still others like being rebellious. Related: Student buys math teacher cake on last day of school after being late every day.

Some people even show up late as revenge, said Joseph Ferrari, author of "Still Procrastinating? While it might seem impossible for the chronically late to be on time, people can amend their tardy ways. Kearney Cooke recommends that for an entire week, people time everything they do — from drying their hair to picking up the kids to grocery shopping. They explained "I think often, friends add an 'ish' to the end of whatever time you agree upon, so while you plan on being there at 6, your friend is planning on 6-ish.

Choosing uncommon minute values can have the effect of narrowing the ish effect. At least in my mind, 6-ish means something like , whereas ish is the more narrow Ask Bossy: No one came to my birthday. What's up with that? Post continues below video. One user offered the tip, "When a time for meeting is important e.

Ride to the airport, event starting , communicate the reason why that time is important and your late friends will try harder to be on time, because there's a reason to do so. The easiest and best way is to say 'It is extremely important that you are here at this time' or 'If you aren't here at this time, these are the bad things that will happen', with the caveat that you are telling the truth, otherwise we just won't believe you.

We subconsciously differentiate between situations where time is flexible and inflexible. It's selfish, but its a really hard habit to break. Unless the person is a total asshole, we always feel bad, and we really don't mean to be late. Aaaaand I think I just found my soul mate on Reddit.

Spot on. If a birthday starts at 4pm, I assume that just means arrive anytime after 4. Because I do not want to lose my job. I'm disorganised and unreliable, but I'm not an idiot. Even when I started planning to be half an hour late she started showing up later than that.

In the middle of a London winter, in the bitter cold, she kept me waiting outside for an hour. She came two hours late to my small dinner party for my birthday and was annoyed that we had ordered.

I didn't say anything on all of these occasions and then when she was a few hours late one day to meet me at my house for lunch I completely lost it.

I had cooked soup and she had eaten before coming over and that's why she was late. We weren't really friends after that. I ruined our friendship because I lost it - all the times she was late had suddenly got to me and I was completely unreasonable. That's why a book is a good idea. Otherwise, you'll browse aimlessly, focused on your agitated state rather than your objective to remain occupied. It's ok to dial up your friend to let them know you're waiting, the nudge will probably get them moving.

It also puts some of the control back in your hands, which feels good when you're aggravated or concerned. Learning to cope with this person's behavior does not mean that you are the only one who needs to change.

Resist the urge to constantly nag and complain, it won't do either of you any good. Do discuss your feelings but avoid accusations like, "You don't even care about how it makes me feel when you leave me hanging for thirty minutes.

Try, "I feel frustrated and anxious when I have to wait. Let's face it, we all get to choose our relationships. Whether it's a relative, friend, or employee, you can usually lessen your time with this individual--or walk away altogether. If you find pleasure in being with this person and that outweighs the problem, then focus on the good, not the tardiness.

When we accept what we view as shortcomings in others it somehow makes coping with them more manageable. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. This article has been viewed , times. Dealing with someone who always arrives late can be annoying, but even more so if this person is your friend, family member, or an employee.

You might feel that if you can make it on time to things, that other should be able to do the same. However, lashing out or being passive aggressive will not solve the issue. You can deal with your late friends or employees by having an honest talk, setting limitations, and managing your own time well.

It can be frustrating and inconvenient when someone is always late, but there are ways to deal with them. Try not to get frustrated with them, since they might have good reasons for being late. Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue. No account yet? Create an account. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great.

By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article methods. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1. If you will need a ride somewhere, ask another person who is more punctual. Tell them an earlier time. If you need them to arrive somewhere at 6PM, and they are typically more than two hours late, tell them to be there by 4PM.